1 more day to go and im off for my hols.tis will b my last post.i'll b back on mon 29 dec.i still have yet to pack my stuff,which i have not even started yet.




im so keeping my hair tis long,so tat i can tie my hair like tat when i go out.hee.im envying the way vanessa is dressing up..


tis is my future dress up,simple,having tat duffle bag of mine and long hair.
im so into having the long grey cardigan from COTTON ON (buy for me k).
i want IPANEMA flipflop(any clr will do),dark blue/grey skinny jeans.

2day,went to aunts house as my datuk is not feeling well.diyan doakn yaie cpt sembuh k dan panjang umur.sayang yaie!.didnt ate tat much.had prata for breakfast outside,ate pulut hitam,and a small serving of rice wif ayam masak merah.have to look after my diet,in batam i'll be eating lots i guess..not have been having a gd md.scolded lee,didn't even entertain his msg,cos i noe he'll be happy w/o me.

hey gerl,are u trying to take away all my frens.
do u realise tat u are just being irritating talking bout ur frens.
u jus keep talking bout how u have been missing ur batam frens everyday.
talking tat nxt yr raya,u wld b inviting lots of ite frens.
n u were like saying tat they were my frens and asking me am i tat close to them.
the thing tat i only ans'ok2 je'.
then u said,'all my frens are ur frens'
wat were u tinking by saying tat.
do u even noe wat am i feeling.
fine,i realised u are way better than me,u have done ur parents proud by your achievements.
i have nothing tat my parents cld b proud of,so.
i realised i don even have a true fren,jus like ur sec frens.
how cn i even have a true fren,when i cnt even spend time wif them.
not being able to turn up, jus makes them think i dont treasure them.
u cn easily plan outings wif ur frens.
n u were like asking,'tkde plan outing ngn kwn'
wats the use of planning if i cnt even go.
my sec sch bbq pit,i cnt even go, tanx to u wanting to go shopping on tat day.
do u realised tat my outing plans are always cancelled,whereas urs always followed as plan.
u have an outing wif ur frens tis tuesday and were like asking me along.
i said i dont want as im having tarian n werking.
i wldnt even wanna go,i don even feel welcomed in ur frens.
i wld feel DEMORALISED.

do u realised cos of u, i decided to break up wif akid.
u were jus being irritating asking n talking bout him,everytime.
everytime when u saw him, u wld be like asking me 'akid didnt msg to tell tat he saw me'.
im hating it.
n now, u got to know bout me and lee.
coincidently,now u are talking bout ur batam frens,who are lee's frens.
asking bout lee,its jus damn irritating.
cos of tat,i text lee saying tat we cnt be 2gether/i don even wan us 2 b 2gther.
n he was like angry,and i was asking him to shut up.

lee,can u pls stop loving me/do u wan me to make u hate me.
i really don wan us 2 b 2gether cos i don like it when she noes bout us.
i don trust my family.i trust my frens more.
im sorry,its easy for u to say to ignore her saying but its hurting me u noe.
im a weak person u know.
if u find my attitude/feelings bout her is mrepek,leave me by all means.
i wanna have sum1 tat is unknown by her.
i rather keep everything to myself,rather then listening to her,asking me bout u/sum1 special.
i don like talking to ppl bout my probs.i prefer keeping it to myself.
btw,fyi i feel DEMORALISED knowing u,wif ur standards of frens and cousins.
everywhere i go,im demoralised by ppl.
for now,i wanna achieve my ideal body.
tanx for waiting for me tis long.
im someone wif jealousy,fyi.

i noe who i am.
useless,ugly,sucking attitude.
now,how i really wish i wasnt born.
n i questioned myself,why must i be born in tiz world/be exist.
i don have a true fren.
im jus a useless person born wif nothing to be proud of.
im ALONE.
i feel demoralised always ard public.
not having the beauty and attitude.
i even dreamed about my bestfren,khai, forgetting me after all those bad stuff i had done to him.
im A BAD GERL AFTER ALL.

GOODBYE LOVED ONES.

Labels: i'm gone.