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Monday, June 29, 2009 @ 21:48
okay today as planned i danced like crazy,like as if theres no tomorrow.im soo wanna go clubbing one day.hee.naughty yana.im soo looking forward for tomorrows training with soul.hee.another exciting and tiring day i can say.okay,something made me smiled.lee came to give us the things he bought for us from china.guess wat,i got for myself my wanted perfume (kylie minogue-showtime),a cute minnie stufftoy(im soo gonna put it at my virgin pink bag),a lollipop,a chinese design fan and a wooden bangle..how fun is that.thousands of thanks to you lee for buying me all that. terhutang budi tau yana.im supposed to post the pics,but somehow couldnt upload it.soon2.hee.THANKS SOOO MUCH!!!! Sometimes fate just can't stop meddling...
Sunday, June 28, 2009 @ 13:14
thanks for topping up for me lee.but im soo going to pay you back.my only words to you is yes i was damn hurt all along.i was left alone sufferring.if you said you spend your last week for me,then why did u decided to choose her before going off.yana rase tertipu sgt2.tertipu tau,yana truly thought u spend those times with me cos you're telling me that you want me back.but i was wrong.it seems that you only find me when she's not there.u can ask raihanah how hurt i was after i send you off.i was damn hurt.i knew all this would happen.u have ask me to move on twice,are you going to make it thrice somehow.why now do you think about fighting for your happiness and all.why now then would you tell me all this.why didnt you tell me before you fly.at least it would be better.i would wait for you cos i still love you.but now its the other way round.after you came back,then did you tell me everything after shooting it straight to me to move on.i was sufferring till my tagborad went chaos and people were saying i deserve it,kene maki hamun smue.it hurts me.how would that feel. now im moving on.concentrating on studies i would right now.found my companion,but no high hopes.im achieving my dreams,a bright future for myself.im learning to be a better gerl,not depending on guys.people may think how evil i am or a bitch i am,moving on that fast,having a new guy.but im still knowing boy,i still need to know the other side of him ferst.i dont wanna make the same mistake before.im sorry.i cant deny that my tears fell reading your blog. i believe this is the right decision for both of us.please do move on,i dont want you to be hurt.concentrate on your studies please.
@ 12:56
oh yeah,at last yesterday watched The Transformers at Kallang Leisure Park with us siblings and papa.ibu didnt come along cos she was feeling tired.okay,seriously yesterday the show was damn packed.bought the 6.30 pm show.reached there ard 4.30pm.seriously,i hate the service there.the funny thing is,there isnt any atm.asked the information counter,the pakcik was like saying 'oh belum bikin'..wth! had to go to the nearest esso and papa withdraw money,insufficient for us to eat.sat at mac kallang there.ouhya,you guys should try the cinnamon melts,a new one.its nice.proceed back to KLP.shockingly,we had the damn front seats.oh fuck,the counter gerl dont even tell us..seriously,i should be working there..hah..okay,the movie was damn awesome,i wanna watch it again!!! ouhya,funny moments.while watching,my bladder was giving some probs,i had to go to the washroom,like seriously. tulah peg pandai minum 2 large drinks untuk ape.sendiri merana...i didnt expect the movie to be 2 half hours..i learned my lesson,i shldnt buy food or drink while watching movies.haha..it was damn emergency,till when the movie just finished and the 'directed by' word came on screen..i quickly went for the exit..confident siak yana,i cant even open the door,was standing there waiting for people to open it for me..thanks to papa for doing so...haha..embarrassing moment for me..gosh,malu giler!!haha.. sungguh tk glam!!
afterwhich proceed for my aunts chalet to celebrate my cousins 18 birthday..im soo jealous..i wanna be legal 18 too,but like soon.i was camwhoring until papa and my aunt ask me to stop..haiyo,they dont know me yet..hee..reached home ard 1 am.my throat is killing me.gosh,i cant even talk tat much..boy text saying he gonna call me but didnt..sadsad..cos i was really feeling confused..couldnt sleep tat night,thanks to my throat..i cant even breathe.. gosh,am yana dying..
Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 14:32
come,lets dance till there's no tomorrow!! someone top up for me happy 128.and i dont know who.how cool is that.
Thursday, June 25, 2009 @ 22:38
 The Show-Lenka*I'm just a little bit caught in the middle Life is a maze and love is a riddle I don't know where to go. Can't do it alone, I've tried. And I don't know why. Slow it down, make it stop. Or else my heart is going to pop. Cause its to much yea its a lot. To be something I'm not. I'm a fool out of love, cause I just can't get enough. Repeat * #I'm just a little girl lost in the moment. I'm so scared but I don't show it. I can't figure it out, its bring me down, I know. I got to let it gooooooooo, and just enjoy the show. The sun is hot in the sky just like a giant spotlight. The people fol-low the sign and syn-cro-nize in time. Its a joke, nobody knows they got a ticket to the shoooooooow.Yea Repeat * Repeat # Just enjoy the show oh oh oh Repeat * Repeat # And just enjoy the show Dum-di-dum-la-dum-di-dum Just enjoy the show La-dum-di-dum-la-dum-di-dum Just enjoy the show I want money back, I want money back, I want money back Just enjoy the show I want money back, I want money back, I want money back Just en-joy the show  Isnt she's just so cute.currently i dont know why i keep listening to her songs.all her songs are just soo cute.im loving it.thanks to boy for making me loving her songs and all.she is just so adorable. how yana wish i was cute like her,having the cute voice.gosh,then i would be adorable.hee..
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 @ 23:11
today was never an awesome day for me.it starts bad,with a chaos and noisy home environment suddenly and waking up with an aching body all over.feeling stress at home,did some house chores and the rest of the time,stuck at my room doing my crossword.feeling damn bored.for once suddenly,i felt like praying,which i really did.suddenly i realised how much a difference it would make if i never pray for a long period of time.at least i should somehow pray once a day,better than not praying at all for the whole day.right..then,before going to sch whereby i am actually 'late',had to send my young cousins back to their home after ngaji session at my house.before that,i was stress on what to wear.i wanted to wear something simple since im only going to sch.but i ended up grabbing my biker jacket and wearing converse shoe.and i suddenly i look like as if im going to town or something.text boy saying how angry i was at myself for dressing up so nice and telling him how i suddenly felt that i wasnt in the mood for dance suddenly.yeah,but boy was like saying sorry for me not coming along.yeah,i kind of wanted to follow at ferst but i thought that i need the money to top up somehow so that i could talk to him overnight otp.so yeah,was able to calm down bout that.proceed to sch,i just hate it when people gives me that kind of look whenever i walk pass them.reached sch,how sickening can i feel when i get to know that the training was cancelled. text boy and was expecting boy to calm me down or something but i guess he's off to meet his frens already.no one told me,or maybe i didnt heard about the cancellation of training the day before cos im kind of deaf somehow.but how come everyone was there together if the training was cancelled.how come i was untold about them meeting up together in sch and all.oh yeah,maybe i wasnt involve.so be it.spend the time there,feeling hunger and restless.wanted to dance but not in the mood.only dance a few with darren and all.then did i feel much better.having a good time alone dancing.when suddenly i felt that everyone was missing and talking together without me there.so yeap,find them again.sat with them,being a kepo gerl.laugh along with them about the jokes.suddenly they had to go somewhere to settle some personal stuff.i was kind of shock why somehow the rest knew bout that but i know nothing,not even a bit of it.i thought i would be the ferst you would talk to,whenever you have your probs.you were the ferst one to know about my probs,did you realise about it.i felt comfortable talking to you.i thought that we could somehow be best friends but i guess i was wrong.u didnt want the similar way too.i was hurt deeply.was holding on to my tears when all those stuff happens right in front of my face.nvm,i guess i have to keep on finding my true bestfren. i just hate today.i soo need a day to reflect on myself for my wrongdoings in life till people likes to treat me in that way.
@ 12:08
Boy,I Miss You. i have lately been very hyper during dance.yesterday, damn hyper till i was like jumping around the studio.i learned the voguelicious walk somehow.and im loving it. BRING IT ON AITE BOY..thanks to rihin and zie for teaching me.learned hindi dance from darren and im truly looking forward in performing it with the hip hop since we tarian seniors arent allowed to dance for racial harmony..sadsad..practicing for the IRIR thingy is damn fun for me.i love those beat of theirs and i was dancing to the beat all along.people was like asking why i was damn hyper.maybe i was just making a nuisance of myself somehow.but who cares.thats how i express my happiness.haha!!after having last training with the soul,proceed with the balimates and isa to simpang for our late dinner.i didnt ate but was drinking 2 cups of bandung.i love the bandung there.hee.reached home quite late,after boy.hee.thanks to haicurl for accompanying me home since we stayed near to each other.had a nice shower and talked otp with boy.he was stress with his outing today.pity him and myself cos i had to talk to myself ferst since he was busy.but i was hyper throughout and kept talking to myself.till he had to ask me not to be hyper anymore cos its late and i need to sleep.i was damn tired and didnt talked long to him. sorry boy..but i miss his voice and talking to him..slept early i can say,before 12.thought of watching csi,but my eyes couldnt take it no more. again today am going to school for dance.i want money to do online shopping..grrr!!i want money to watch all those movies im craving for.. how i wish i am working.
Monday, June 22, 2009 @ 23:09
today,had our usual dance training.am supposed to go for my bali dance training after that,but i already have a plan with boy to watch 'drag me to hell'.so sorry guys,but i will be attending tomorrow and the day after that kays.so something went wrong between boy n his mum.we ended up meeting a bit later ard 3.met at dhoby ghaut mrt,upon reaching gave him the souvenirs i bought for him and his siblings from bali.made our way to plaza sing to catch movie.at ferst thought i wont be able to watch movie cos something went wrong.but greatfully the movie plan is still 'on'.hee.bought the tix,then went window shopping nothing much to look there.so boring.hee.then decided to walk to the cathay.we crack jokes along the way as usual.ouh ya,saw this one vintage shop and im attracted to this hot pink dress.very the nice,and good that boy agreed too.cos he said he don like gerls who wear dress.. sad tau,cos yana like to wear dress but not those typical girlish2 kind..paham tak..hee..i wonder what kind of dress is he referring to:( sad at cathay and camwhored..something weird i realise,i look older than my age somehow..but boy told me its a compliment..hee.at ferst,yana a bit shy but after that it feels much better..we did our fav pouting thingy..hee..then made our way back to plaza sing for the movie.seriously i enjoy the movie although it is somehow scary,full of surprises and disgusting at the same time..i was so scared till i knock my head on boy's a few times..ouhya,and my lens came off cos i slide my eyes on his shoulder..thanks that i didnt lost it..after the movie,went straight for the toilet.see boy,you will never regret watching a movie that i recommend aite..hee.. no yana must be humble,remember..after the movies,was feeling damn hungry but pity boy that he have anymore cash so i decided not to to eat,to be fair..i feel awkward eating alone when there's someone with me..so yeah..we sat outside plaza sing,camwhored again and chit chat over some serious stuff..suddenly i feel like eating polar,but couldn't find one..i ended up buying yoghurt drink..yana diet seh today..but neh,i just ate a plate of lontong just now..haha!!im loving today boy.hee,gosh im so loving today and will be soo looking forward for any future meetups..i so need to know you much more deeper.. i wanna watch 'bloody the last vampire','transformers',harry potter' and 'fighting'.gosh thats alot. i SO want the ROXY hoody. yana nak.Labels: imy boy
Sunday, June 21, 2009 @ 00:09
 today as planned went to johor.reached there ard 9+am.the bus ride was so crazy..hee..upon reaching larkin,had our breakfast a heavy one i can say.sadly,my sis was happily drinking her ice milo halfway till she found a small cockroach in her cup..eww,so disgusting!!!afterwhich,begin our shopping for magazines,bubblegums ,chewing gums and then went to the market.nenek and ibu bought salted fish and few more stuff they want to bring to nyaie's house.bought lontong and i was carrying four of it,my shoulders just feel like falling off.so damn heavy lar can..walked around with it,looking for kain but none..then me and sis bought mac eyeliner and blusher..so happy seh we bought..then looked for tops,they are plenty of nice ones for guys,the gerls one is so kental..we walked into the ferst shop,there's this cute one guy who entertain us..found a nice top but my sis insist on looking at other shops..so yeah,walked ard and went to the 2nd shop,also another cute guy,but he dont have the malaysian look somehow..the tops were the same,and we bought the tops for my lil bro at the 2nd shop..then made our way to nyaie's house..we were well fed i can say..food keeps being served one after another..gosh,so full..spend sometime there for the old to have their chitchats..ard 4+pm made our way back to larkin..i told ibu that i wanted to buy skinny jeans and she gave me RM50..my sis was so jealous wif me..hee..she never ask for it,so she never get lar kan..hee..reaching back to larkin,went to the 1st shop straight cos i kind of saw a dark blue skinny but neh,couldnt find one and said goodbye..the same guy was like asking where did we go just now,told him went to nyaie's house and now going home..and yeah..goodbye to him..went to the 2nd shop,thought i could find the jeans there,but sadly no..but before that,im attracted to this pink bag i ferst saw and decided to buy it since i cant get any jeans..hee..my sis keep asking me to buy the dark green one,but i want the PINK one..the guy was asking where did we go,and asked why go home already and never stay so that can always go his shop..wth..he asked me,i like pink ehk..yeah..haiyo..quickly bought the bag and off we went..he told us to come back to his shop if we ever come larkin again..hee..cute or wat..the journey back home is so giggly and full of laughter with my elder sis..somehow i felt closer again with her.how i wished it was only the 2 of us...reached spore ard 6.40pm..text boy,and was so excited to tell him bout the pink bag i bought..hee..he got his hot red mouse2..okay..tats all..nothing much.. tomorrow i dont know what's my family plan is,but i told ibu to go out cos i wanna wear hot2 tomorrow..hee..
Friday, June 19, 2009 @ 13:03
 okay,yana is really damn bored at home.actually today fatris asked me to come and look at their performance.was waiting for his call yesterday night whether i can go in and watch.but i guess he cant get thru as i was talking to boy for like 2hrs+.and now,ppd is low.gosh.sorry ehk.so today woke up late,slept ard 2.30am.i have been spending my time at home doing crossword,thanks to adi for lending me his book.im soo looking forward to the upcoming dance prac so that i can go out after that.having plans with boy on mon,to watch my 'drag me to hell' which i was craving for,sorry ehk no terminator.you can watch it with your frens lar kan.hee.im also looking forward for the sentosa picnic with boy,reasons cos i wanna wear the cute heart beach shorts i bought at bali.heee..sungguh tk masuk akal reason dier..hee..shall be going nxt wk,wed i guesss.tomorrow am going johor to accompany my mum to buy kain for raya..siang or wat..but im going cos i wanna shop there,hopefully i can find another vans shoe,or dark blue skinny.bleh ehk bu diyan shopping..hee..but will be going to rumah nyaie too..im soo stress on what to wear tomorrow..hee.. currently,im missing bali and cambodia too.i miss my balimates,and cambodiamates. im missing you too boy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009 @ 12:37
hello earthlings!!.oh yeah,im back from bali trip.it was awesome learning the bali dance.shopping was extravagant,but yana was short of cash,yar i change only $150.sad2.im happy to be back home,lots of memories is brought home,many lessons learnt,i had many 'exposures' publicly.ouh,and we had eggs everyday,cholestrol.everywhere we go,there seems to be lots of sales for surf brand up to 90%.okay lets begin the memories. DAY 1  I was damn excited on this particular day.Im going off baby.woke up early,at 6 am.my parents send me,off to terminal 1.upon reaching met haicurl ferst,then hirzie,then the rest.did the usual check in thingy.naim came too to send me off,sweet of him.thanks so much. it melts.get to talk to kamal otp,he kept reminding me to get the poker cards.checking in,the flight was delayed,we had to wait for the plane to arrive.haiyo,airasia mah. something happen while waiting for the plane.gosh,im loving it.in the plane,didnt got any breakfast so i bought my fav spaghetti.it was acceptable though but i prefer the lasagne better.the flight took 2 hr.butt became flat and the seat wasnt that spacious though.reaching bali was the exciting part.the tourguide fetch us and we were welcomed with garland of flowers,so unique.and the flowers smell nice.proceed for our lunch,had an awesome and heavy lunch.yana ate alot seriously.it was nice and tempting.had our next bumpy,bouncy bus ride to the sch.slept otw there,camwhored too.upon reaching the sch,we were introduced to the dance instructor,the dance.thank god,the instructors could talk english a bit.had a warming up session,but i couldnt continue the rest of the training cos suddenly my right hand keeps shivering non-stop.it was a short training day i can say. afterwhich off for our dinner.again,awesome dishes,kampung kind.argh,yana keeps being the last one to finish up the food.after being so damn full,proceed to the ARI PUTRA HOTEL.it was by the streets.had our room.we gerls were in the same room again,cool or what.so happy.but sadly our room was alone by the corridor,scary.had a bath tub,but cldnt be used.had a beautiful balcony,but only a rooftop scenery.had a nice cold bath,and off to slp. DAY 2  upon waking up,watched mtv as we always did.breakfast,omelette,hot tea or coffee.i had 3 different kind of drinks,orange juice,milk and hot tea.proceed to the sch for our training.this time round we had a half day training for the panyembrama dance.it was fun learning the dance but stressful at times.we were amazed at how the students had a nice S body shape.they had to maintain that shape throughout the whole dance.had an awesome packed lunch.continued our training.we watched an american rehearsal with the bali students.then off for our dinner by the beach.had awesome seafood dinner and phototaking by the beach.after dinner,back to hotel.had our reflection session,and hip hop dance prac for a while.by then everyone was damn tired.the guys had to accompany the gerls back to the room.thanks guys.camwhored at the room with atik and rai2. look at your pics,and i would fall asleep by then.my body starts to ache already. DAY 3
 another same typical day.had the breakfast.training as usual.somehow,the schedule gets terrible.but ms jill is able to make sure we had a meaningful time there.somehow by this day we got the steps,being able to do it correctly. yeah,hippie2!!!its a very difficult dance okay.after the whole training,went for shopping and bought souvenirs.oh yeah.i bought this cute beach shorts,heart2 similar with haicurl.we all bought the same bag.hee..had another awesome dinner.by then im beginning to gain weight already.
DAY 4
 same usual training.but this time round we were told by the instructor that we were going to perform for the villagers with live music and set up all.upon hearing all this,we are all begin to stress ourselves up in getting the steps and dance correctly.we had a performance rehearsal.for me,its an embarrassing moment for me cos we had to perform unprepared and not getting any of the steps.argh.but it was fun.after a whole day training,proceed for the bali arts festival.we were supposed to watch a performance but there was somehow some miscommunication.we ended up shopping there.i bought lots of bangles,i just find all of them beautiful.somehow,we were short of time to shop.i went shopping with khai,and we were the ferst one to arrive.hee.waiting for the rest,we requested that we have another few mins.the rest bought bags and wallets,but i didnt cos i've bought enough of all of that back at cambodia.after a tiring shopping,we proceed for dinner.back to hotel and reflections.before slping,went to the guys room to chit chat and lepak there.slept quite late,ard 1 am.
DAY 5
 this day we were having our performance.had our last practice.straight away for make ups.we gerls were told to be topless and will only be covered with the batik.we were supposed to change in public.so embarrassing for me,till i shed tears. i dont like to do things that im forced to.the make up was damn thick and i love the eyeshadow part.we somehow look evil.but overall,i hate the makeup.it doesnt suit my face.eww..had our performance.thanks the students for guiding us at the front.we just follow them.hee..the live music keeps making me feel nervous.after mine,it was the other's turn.i pity the guys,the costume was damn tight and heavy.till haicurl dont feel well.gave him drinks.after the balinese dance,we perform the hip hop dance with the students.they somehow really get the steps.we were proud of ourselves for being able to perform balinese dance. a round of applause.hehe..had a sad moments with the kids.they really made us feel welcome throughout the whole trip.said goodbyes.some exchanged numbers and emails.after all those tears,we were surprised with a shopping at TANAH LOT and also some photo taking there.the beach there are awesome with big waves.it was the indian ocean,what can we expect right.it was then shopping!!!!..argh,i ran to the surf shop.bought 2 volcom shirts.thanks to zie's suggestion.shopped with zie and haicurl.wanted to finish up all the money,but i just couldnt decide what to buy.after a tiring day shopping,had our dinner.nice2,i like.back to hotel.after bathing and all.lepaks with the guys and the others. i became a bit wild tat night.thanks to haicurl and farihin for taking good care of me that night.slept at 3 am.
DAY 6
 home sweet home.had our last breakfast,only with rai.proceed our way straight to the airport.upon reaching and checking in,we were told that the fligh is postponed for 3 hrs.im like fucked up.then we continued our shopping.slept at the airport,cracking jokes about massage.all thanks to khai for making our day.me,zie and haicurl walked around till we could memorise all the shops there.haha!we were given mac for lunch due to the delay.had fried chicken with rice.hee.sat with iffa and haicurl in the plane.ordered food.suddenly as we were about to reach,i felt nausea and wanted to vomit.there was a traffic congestion up there and the plane had 3 turns before landing.so the mabuk man.home sweet home.ms elfa and some cemtaians came to fetch us.sweet of them.my parents fetched me,i miss my little bro so much.upon landing,text naim.hee.how excited can i get.then off to simpang bedok. more pics will be at my multiply.do take a look.and you will know how much fun we had. Labels: i miss bali already.
Thursday, June 11, 2009 @ 23:41
Pic of the day. tomorrow am going for bali.will be back on 17 june,wed.im soo gonna miss eating alots.im like craving for pasta since the day.im craving for lots of thing to happen when im back from bali.i want an outing with cambodia frens,bowling with adi,sentosa picnic,karaoke-ing,and etc..lots of things actually. today,skipped sch as i want to meet up with this guy.i know im gonna miss him alot,listening to his voice,cracking jokes otp.watched movie,land of the lost.actually i wanted to watch drag me to hell,but he wants terminator.but in the end,we watched something that we both didnt think of,so as to be fair.heeh.overall i find the movie,ok2.its kind boring too,but its eww at the same time.having a big fat mosquito sucking blood..gosh,eww..naek bulu roma gue..afterwhich,we had lots of fun time,camwhoring,pouting,hee..its just so fun..met kamal for the dinner..thanks to both you guys for taking such good care of me..they are willing to accompany me back to tamp,and waited for me...so sweet of them.. i just hope things will happen as i hope it will be.imy lots.thanks for your pic,it will keep me company there.
Monday, June 8, 2009 @ 14:52
HURT is all i can say now.Damn hurt,truly HURT by your stupid actions!!you were playing with my feelings all along.today i send you off.i brokedown,even when i talked to your adik.only your mum did talk to me.but its okay,im able to accept all this.i was hoping that they could realise the true love i had for you all along.but now,you truly hurt my heart,you are making me hating you.you keep saying all those goods thing to me..i hate myself for being so STUPID to believe all those words of yours.why must you wait till this moment to tell me all these.dont you realise you are making things worse for you.i hate you!!!thats all i got to say.i regret giving you that letter,that photo and letting you know the meaning of my 'Where Rainbow Ends'.it was all useless now..i hate you,u lied to me.its up to what people may think about me hating you,but do you think i FUCKING care about it.FUCK OFF from my life.never would i want to know bout your life anymore.i wouldnt even want you to call me when you reached home.I HATE YOU,YES I HATE YOU AND I WILL NEVER EVER REGRET SAYING THIS.when u dont have her,u find me.what do you think i am.ur spare part..stupid!!you know i never like hating people unless that someone did something wrong right in front of my face.now you are doing that to me,thats why im hating you.although i've said that i will never hate you..yes you being away for 3 weeks is a way for you to forget me and carry on with your life.a fucking good decision made by you.YOU HAVE JUST BROKEN THE TRUST THAT I HAVE HAD FOR YOU LATELY...my last words to you,I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU,I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE,YOUR FUTURE,OR WHATEVER SHITS,FUCKER!! btw,for your awak,dont wear tudung if you are not acting like one.let me tell you something you will never find your hapiness for destroying mine.u will have a fucking life ahead.yes u will,BITCH!!!from first,you blinded lee with your behaviour,a decent one konon,LIAR.THAT ALREADY SHOW THE BAD SIDE OF YOU..WHY CANT EVEN LEE REALISE ABOUT THAT...if you are even a girl,you wont disturb a guy who is having a relationship.you were at fault.YOU MAY GET WHAT YOU WANT BY HAVING LEE IN YOUR LIFE,BUT YOU BETTER KEEP THIS IN YOUR FUCKING MIND,YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP AND LIFE,EVER!!!!STOP TRYING TO BE A GOOD GIRL BY TELLING LEE NOT TO BREAK UP COS OF YOU.U LIAR,BITCH..its good that you keep talking to lee bout me,cos you are jealous right..why,scared??!!!scared of losing to me..KALAU IKUTKAN HATI,AKU NAK AJE SUMPAH KAU!!NASEB BAEK AKU PIKIR DUA KALI.aku rase lebih baek pikir dua kali psl kau pkai tudung.aku rase pompuan yang tak pkai tudung lagi baek,sebab diorang lebih pentingkan keadilan.HAVE A FUCKING LIFE BITCH!! I HATE GERLS/GUYS WHO DISTURB SOMEONE'S RELATIONSHIP.I HATE GUYS.I HATE RELATIONSHIPS. SIAPA MAKAN CILI,DIA YANG TERASA PEDAS!!! i feel much better now after letting go everything.Labels: I HATE YOU.
Sunday, June 7, 2009 @ 21:47
okay,today had our metta performance as scheduled.woke up,had a piece of pizza for breakfast.thanks to papa for sending me to sch,tat was why i reached on time.met atik who reached earlier.then rai came along.got ourself ready,put make up and all.today the make-up was not that thick somehow. but it looks nicer on me.oh yeah,thanks to ms lina for treating us to some snacks and 2 bottles of chrysanthemum white tea.sorry ehk isa,its white tea.hehe.accompanied ms lina to buy the food,on the way talked to her bout my probs.thanks cikgu for giving me a listening ear. afterwhich,made our way to sch.some jokes in the bus made.hee..these dancemates of mine just brings life to my life.waited for a while for our performance.once we reached,we met the same student who approach us randomly last year,but this time round she had a new friend,same behaviour as her.hee..ouhya,darren became the victim.hee.then my photographer,nor fadzlee came along to support us.sweet of him,once he reached,i gave him my cam and he took photos for us.when he came,ms lina gave me that look.i understand that look of hers.alhamdulilah,performance turn out well.the audience are much better than last year.for me,the starting get cock up somehow.hee.but overall,it was awesome.i want to perform again.argh!!more upcoming shows pls.ms elfa we need you..hee. make our way back to sch,pack up.leelee wanted us to eat together before he went off.and he needed to buy some stuff.proceeded to tamp inter,then tamp 1 to buy his mickey luggage tag.he was suppose to get an aladdin one.but there weren't,so took mickey.he treate me a minnie one,so we took the same design.khai and iffa bought too.hee..those things are just cute..then khai and leelee planned to buy another one,once they are back from bali and china.had our lunch plus dinner at cs.ate my fav,ban mian.hee.as usual, jokes again.then from there,made our way back home.the seniors wanted to go to mustafa..rai2 made her way home..before home,lee had to take his sejadah at his aunt house.i didnt realise i brokedown just by hugging him,i guess my mind was playing something at that moment.so as usual,he send me home..but before that,had our last taiti game,and i lost.haah.home sweet home..   fadzlee,just remember those words i told you just now.only you knows everything,what im hoping for in the end.but if you ever forget about it,its okay.fate will remind you.you being away,will truly be missed by me.i hope life will be much better for the both of us.for the last few months after we broke up,life has been chaotic for us both.we have been facing lots of confusion about each other.but today,we let out everything to each other.and tomorrow,you will understand everything about me.i will pray for ur safety,your future and all.hope mama will be doing well with your new adik.just hope you will be reminded of your loved ones there.   as for yana,seriously i have gain weight.just look at my chubby face.argh!STRESS!!.i shall start my diet of a meal a day from now onwards.i shall fast soon.personally,yana shall think bout her studies now,thats more important.i shall bring back the trust i used to have for guys which was spoilt just by this one guy.thanks ehk,u make my life miserable now!.somehow,im sick of relationship.i would rather know a guy for years,understand him thoroughly,have the trust again.rather than having a relationship,which never last long.i shall start losing weight.. tomorrow am sending leelee,hope im able to face him and his family tomorrow.hope they will know the true me somehow.insyaallah.i shall stop being lazy when praying.i want to be a good gerl,very sopan.hah,all this devil is just so sickening.
Friday, June 5, 2009 @ 22:50
okay,im actually kind of bored today.wanted to watch the ghost whisperer but suddenly,it was not there.then,there weren't anymore nice programmes to watch so i decided to go online.okay,today had our very first hip hop training for the bali trip.it was kind of awkward dancing hip hop.we malay dancers just look so lembut..hee..but overall it was damn fun.when the mood is just in the blood,oh yeah its much easier to dance.then waited for leelee after his performance at downtown and proceed home straight.oh yarh,then we saw the full moon.hmm.there's photos taken but its all with leelee.so shall get it from him once his back from china.haiz.leelee,u will be gone for like a month.we will be missing you truck loads.just remember you will always be reminded in my heart no matter what i do.oh ya talking bout bali,seriously,i have not pack any clothes yet,and im getting nervous and worried.im not used to packing last minute.the only thing i pack is my cup noodles.hee. this coming sun,having performance at metta sch.on mon,will be sending leelee at T3,having hip hop training after sch,supporting show choir at esplanade after that.so yeah.not much.i shall somehow start studying for my PTC retake.
Thursday, June 4, 2009 @ 23:39
im confused.i hate being in a state of confusion.cause i can never think being in this state.i just fcuking hate it!!!yes,maybe rai was right.i should never make promises to people.im so damn emotionally stress right now.yes,people keep telling me how evil i am for doing those actions to you.yeah,moving on that fast and having more guyfrens.ouh yar,keep in mind,i prefer having more guyfrens than gerlfrens.cos i hate having stupid misunderstandings between friends over jealousy,gossips,bf or watever shit left.i hate being stressed up.ouhya,people dont even try to contact me tomorrow,cos im going somewhere alone.so get your ass off me.yes,yana is just another bad gerl in disguise.i get it! SAY ALL YOU WANT CAUSE ONLY HE KNOWS HOW MUCH IM SUFFERING.IM FCUKING HATING MY LIFE.PEOPLE KEEP THINKING NEGATIVE OF ME.RELATIONSHIPS ARE GONE,EVEN FRIENDS.WHAT ARE MY PURPOSE OF LIFE NOW.TELL ME.YANA IS JUST ANOTHER EVIL GERL.DO I EVEN DESERVE HAPPINESS.I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT MY FEELINGS ARE NOW.ALL I KNOW IS THAT I KEEP HAVING MORE STRESS IN LIFE.HOW I WISH I DONT EVEN MEET ALL MY BELOVEDS SO THAT I WILL NEVER HURT THEM IN LIFE.YANA IS DAMN STRESS.
@ 23:01
we were happily talking to each other.just now,just moments ago.but suddenly our phone line was being cut.wth!!the only last thing i could remember was you saying you wanted to sleep cause the seats were like first class.hee.yes,we will be missing each other that much.but yeah like you said,just be reminded of each other from the heart.right now,i couldnt reach you somehow.i guess you might be making your way into malaysia already.so yeap.you take care aite.i know you would never miss your meals,so i wouldnt be worried about you not eating or whatsoever.just have fun aite there.yeah,you will be back on mon.i would be missing talking to you every night.but nevermind.i shall be strong and independent,at least i get to save my ppd.may you have a safe trip to and fro.imy. are all those what you call 'hints'.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009 @ 23:05
 okay,i have not been updating for these few days.i have been busy lately,with my dance and studies somehow.but mostly,i have been busy spending my time with choco before he's off to china for like 1 month.damn long lar.have been having my photo session with choco.all those photos is posted at my multiply.hee.do take your time to take a look aite.and i get to pose like 'samantha'..hee..actually,i have nothing else to say cos my mind is blank.  im confused with what i am feeling right now.why must there be jealousy when i say i dont love you anymore.or am i forcing myself to let go those feelings for you.why did i shed those tears just now,when u wanted to say goodbye.what does that shows somehow.it feels like as if your asking for a breakup.but.im thankful for having those days with you.suddenly,i felt our past and our memories.i felt the love we had showered to each other before,laughing together,me being model, u being the photographer.as the countdown gets lesser,the tears in my eyes began to puddle up.im confused with myself.maybe,i still love you.but i dont know how to react to all this.my feelings somehow seems to be indecisive.it keeps changing by an hour. jus read fadzlee's blog bout the update. those tears cant take no more. i better get going.
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