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Sunday, November 29, 2009 @ 21:51
gosh,i feel like screaming!!! firstly,why?-im getting fat.-im no more having that flat tummy.-i forgot that im having auditing ca which is on wed.-im nervous for my btt on tues,hope i can do well.-im stressed about my gpa and studies.-i dont know what to do now.Im panicking...
@ 21:29
it has been a very tiring 3 days straight of big event for me.  on fri,it was Salam Aidiladha.as usual it would be going to my neneks house to have my fav sambal goreng pengantin.afterwhich had majlis cukur rambut of my anak sedare,dina.it was short day but tiredness can be felt really.  on sat had abg dol's majlis nikah.it was fun looking at how the ceremony works and the different kind of people's reactions and behaviour on that particular event.my family made green as the theme.alhamdulilah,everything went well.and not to forget,i have been eating alot.cos of that im no more having that flat tummy of mine.i hate it.btw,i love the bride's pelamin,very the royal kind.love it.but still am wanting that frame of red roses behind.didnt stayed that long.  on the wedding day,it was very fun.i guess my dressing was okay.and i dont know why for the last 2 days,i was having mood to make up.for more,just look at my fb or multiply.i love the food and catering.for once,i felt that there was no work for me to do as the kendarat had settled all.i loved the whole event.actually i dont know what else to say.but in Overall,i had fun.  i love this pic of my cute lil bro with much loved.it was taken by me and see he just look like squirrel.hehe.love you bro!  
To Abg Dol and wife,may you have a great life ahead going thru ups and downs of marriage together.do have big family aite.hee.may you last long together,hingga ke anak cucu.btw,kak i love you black red dress,really.hee.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 @ 20:56
 sorry for the lack of updates.okay,as planned for the previous training we had games and work out session for us dancers.seriously,im lacking of stamina.i need to build up all that.we had cikgu to lead us the warming up and went for 1 jog round.i was panting by then,fat yana! afterwhich played my all time fav 'guides' game which is polo flour.overall it was fun getting to play even though it was a short 5 min game.we had water bomb mainly to khai cos it was his birthday next week,hehe.i thought i was get to be excused from all the sabotage cos i was the game master.but in the end couldnt run from khai.but there was this lee who tried to escape but in the end gotcha!!haha. about the dance explosion,i was disheartened and disappointed that we were disqualified.gosh,we shldnt have practise for that 1 whole month.nonsense.even the fresh elements didnt get thru.haiyo,they were like better than the res,not to sexy kind. sch,i feel like crying.im truly worried about my ca aa2 results.my instinct just tell me that im failing it.im scared.earlier on had ngee ann students coming to our sch for sharing session,the gpa requirement are 3.8 and mine is only 3.6.i have to f-ing work real hard for my last semester.now im like panicking,or im really am.i dont know where to start.today i had 2 tissue prata,gosh i can go fat.and accompanied lee to buy his adidas bag,but told him not to.but in the end bought for himself volcom berms.i wanted too,but too big for me.yeah,okb katekn.nevermind. life have been sickening for me.having family probs.money probs.every problems are just linked together.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 @ 22:10
there's no more excitement between us.everything seems so wrong.im confused.i dont know if what im doing right now is the right thing to do.i think what i need right now is a break from everything.it hurts that even you cant understand what i want in life.i even need to shape my body up.if i cant count on you,i shall do everything on my own without your help. i need money to:1-buy skateboard2-buy vintage belt3-buy new flat shoe4-buy bag5-buy ipod classic6-shopping
i need to find a job.
Sunday, November 22, 2009 @ 21:07
 on sat morning till afternoon,had the Quest amazing race with sim,lee and atik.it was a very tiring day,running non stop and i so feel fat though or should i say short of stamina somehow.hehe.need to build up on that.finished the race rushed back home to prepare for the wedding performance.it was a very stressful day not getting the steps and formation well.felt like giving up but just continued despite the small space and stage.it was funny looking at the video with the nervous and blur face of mine. today had the dance explosion performance.everything went quite well and i was kind of fast while dancing one part and it was obvious.i guess what cikgu said is true,we gerls tend to get nervous with big crowd despite knowing the steps very well and ended up,cocking it up.haiz,we need to practice on that.but we did have fun in overall.and not to forget the Fresh Elements were awesome,they are just unique in their own way.hope we both groups would get to the final.pray hard.okey,would be sleeping early tonight to replenish the tiredness for the last 2 days.and tomorrow would be having a special training with the juniors .*surprise hah* would be having my 3rd etrial,and im left with one before the actual test.
Friday, November 20, 2009 @ 20:56
okay,tomorrow is going to be a very rushing day i can say.morning till afternoon,having th eQuest,nebo amazing race event.afterwhich,have to rush for wedding performance which is nearby my house and we need to be ready by 5.30pm.i dont how much rush it will be.god,help me.
Thursday, November 19, 2009 @ 21:24
today i was feeling damn sick and tired.i dont know what went wrong,i had boiled potatoe for breakfast and my fav C3 bee hoon. attended the morning lesson but got to know teacher was on mc.bingit or wat,i shld have just slept.haiyo.slacked in class till 10.50 and we were dismissed.afterwhich waited for lee to accompany me for my break.by then,i was feeling uneasy and felt like vomiting.but i just tried to hold on to it.proceed to buy the 10cents sweet to get rid of that vomiting taste.sat outside seng city there,as i was feeling weak and couldnt take it no more.i was sitting for a long time,asking lee for plastic bag,and tissues.there i was letting all out till i cried as it hurts my throat real bad.people were walking along and saw me.geraldine approached me and ask if i was alright.but i couldnt talk that much.i just kept on vomiting and decided not to go for the rest of my lessons.proceed to cemta to have some rest,as i cant go home,need to be there for training which i didnt even get well.cemta was freezing cold.i asked lee to find porridge for me as that is what i usually eat when im sick.so off he went.i just took some good rest there.felt much better and went for a hot tea with khai and the rest.i was feeling damn hungry and text lee for his whereabouts.at last he came with the porridge and i was feeling much better after.during training was just having lots of fun,jumping2 around.but am still feeling uneasy.lee was scolding for making myself stressed up till i went sick. thanks lee for being there for me and helping me out.im sorry if i embarassed you with myself vomiting.i know all are okay with it.thanks for asking around for my porridge.thanks for taking good care of me and ensuring that im okay.that was really sweet of you.loved you.ouhyar today atik went for her date movie.and i was excited to see this guy,atik keeps saying he looks like my beloved taufik.was very excited sent atik to his car.gosh,let me call him 'hot guy'.im happy for atik in knowing hot guy.yes atik i agree,he's hot.hee.hope you're having lots of fun there. okay,i better get going and watch ANTM which i missed last week cos of feeling damn tired.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009 @ 22:23
 im fucking stressed up with everything around me.todays CA was a mess cos of my stupid careless mistake.dance was more like a fucking mess,being left out in everything always,cant get those steps on time,having to memorise the formation which will thus makes the steps more challenging.i can be the one being stupid dancing ugly while the rest are dancing beautifully.life have been a mess with family probs,stupid status which just makes stupid jealousy and down moments.i hate it. Im Stressed Up!! i saw this new phone at the net and gosh im falling for it.its nice and sleek.i shld have waited abit longer before i bought the LG cookie.stupid yana. gd things come to those who wait.
Sunday, November 15, 2009 @ 10:31
 for the past few days,family issues have been increasing,which i get upset with and irritated with.i hate all this.those feelings just sucks.ouh and yesterday went to book for my etrial and btt.early in the morning,decided to wear mals bag.but suddenly the strap was broken.i was panicking at that moment.wanted to call mal up,but i think he was still sleeping soo left him a message.did my bookings and btt on 1 Dec.and starting next week my past times would be pack for etrial.gosh,im soo nervous,paiseh liao.hee.afterwhich went to cgh,to accompany my aunt for sending yaie for xray.alhamdulilah yaie is fine,its just that he needs to do exercising of his swollen hand.yest night,decided to sew those strap and yes i did it.so its all okay now.was watching soccer,i knew spore would lose cos the players were like not even running.haiyo.me and my dad was like shouting with disappointment.hee.and today am going for ayu's birthday party.ouh yeah,it has been long i have been to one.
Thursday, November 12, 2009 @ 22:07
im feeling damn confused.
@ 21:56
 in the end after much intensive training,the balinese performance was today.reached school real early,had a very peace make up no rushing.overall the performance is a job well done.we did quite well,despite doing the 'dek pong' to peep at other mates.hehe.i think i did well and including the rest too.afterwhich had some vogue modelling with iffa,fliq and rai.gosh it felt as though im modelling at that moment.its an experience for the hip hop dancers dancing balinese dance,getting to do all the make up and all.hee.. :) p.s loving balinese dance.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 @ 09:20
it has been a very tiring day of continuous daily training for the upcoming show on thurs.it was very stressful in getting it right.im stressed up thinking about my body which just doesnt seems so right and proportionate.getting those legs and body that i want just seems so difficult.friendships can sometimes be a pain due to jealousy.but am good that i have a close friend to rely on.studies have been awesome,getting those modules quite well.alhamdulilah. i dont understand why im feeling this way.it hurts me real bad as you just left me like that,or maybe i just cant accept the F-fact of it.why does it just feels that theres hope in us.would there be.more than months have passed since you left me just like that despite saying that we could be friends but ignoring me for the rest of your life.why must it turn out to be this way.or was i just putting high hopes.or its about me being stupid.no one can understand me.when those moments that i needed someone,my mind just flashes back those sweet moments we had together although it was only a few.im not trying to interfere in that life of yours.ahh,nevermind.forget it.
Friday, November 6, 2009 @ 21:38
When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have.
@ 21:20
it have been quite sometime that i didnt update bout my life.so far life has been going great,despite sometimes i would be reminded of boy although i hate it when those times must appear.school have been okay,studies managable.but auditing is just making a pain at my ass.very irritating module i can say.i just find it kind of irritated.so far AA2 have been okay,manageable.would be having CA soon.i shall aim very high for the upcoming CA.from this week onwards i somehow need to start revising the lengthy 4 chapters of memorising and understanding.tarian,having BALI performance this thurs.gosh,damn nervous.heh.so far getting the steps were fine but knowing the sequence quite well. ouh yeah,yesterday was approached by someone for freelance model for the ferst time.i was happy to be approached with.its like as if my dreams are coming true soon.hee.but kak banie was explaining to me,we had to pay for our portfolio ard $300+.where would i have that amount.the guitar tale we went was awesome,simple.and today went for farm tour.went to organic vegetable farm.i was like sleeping otw there and back again.haha.i was damn tired i guess. lately,i just wanna go things slow for both of us.we need to be like before again,and its hard.im happy for you going for the Bluco percussion.i knew how much you wanted that,but im just suddenly reminded of our past.im sorry to hurt you for saying that.but it hurts me more if im ever to go thru those things again.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 @ 09:44
yes,at last i get to watch my ever wanted movie, MJ This Is It. watched it with lee at downtown.im really am proud to grade it 5/5. it was an overwhelming movie or i can say concert.it was an entertaining one.it showcases his rehearsals for the london show which was not held in the end. i could see that he looks like he had suffered since young,but idk if its true.it seems that he expressed his sufferrings thru songs and his care for the planet.i love his song about life and earth.it just makes me wanna tears.the dancers are thankful that MJ himself chose them and trained with him.MJ is a funny and simple guy i can see.people during the rehearsal respect him alot. yes i agree his the king of pop!! i was singing to his song and dancing on the seats.gosh,i love his songs.he treats everyone fairly and he isnt that sombong.he allows the lady guitarist to take his stage for a solo part,insisting that it was her time to shine.he's very humanity kind of person.i love him.quote of him was,' love everyone as love lives forever'.  not to forget yesterday i saw the beautiful shining full moon.it was just soo beautiful and attracting my attention wherever i go. next movie,halloween.
Monday, November 2, 2009 @ 22:03
gosh,i love her.shes just soo sweet,simple and elegant.i love her body,perfectly in shaped. i soo need to work on my body now for having meals often lately.n i love her dress up and the way she models in front of the cammie.
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