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Sunday, December 20, 2009 @ 23:18
  these just proves everything about my weight.seriously i feel angry with myself for not doing anything to it.but i shall make a difference to my body weight starting from now.people just wouldnt understand how paranoid i am towards any slight increase in my weight.yes maybe im not fat due to the skinny hands of mine,but i am gaining weight for like 3kgs.my usual weight is 41kg,and my ideal weight is 40kg.i shall not now depend on others i have to make my own sacrifices myself.i shall work hard for it and no one can now say anything to prevent me from losing weight.it hurts when people cant motivates me in doing so and ended up having to do it myself.nvm,its okey. insyaallah,i will get to shaped up my body.just wish me luck and support me.thats all.
Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 22:03
IM FAT!! ARGHHHH!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 20:19
where goes all the respect and rights for women.are women just a place where men just place their desires on.why does women tend to be easily abused,sexually or physically.why must women tend to be the weaker sex.why.we too need to feel appreciated always.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 @ 21:15
I am such a nuisance in life.I am such a burden to people around me.I am just hurting myself alot.I am hating myself alot.I am just making myself feel so cheap,having no dignity in life.I am just making myself feel like a rubbish just by the road,which was then picked up by someone saying that I can be fixed and looked perfect in that peson's eyes.I keep doing things without thinking twice,ended up regretting it.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 15:12
or should i just keep my hair like that??..
@ 14:39
 yesterday,had survivor challenge with the CEMTA-ians.it was very fun camp ever!! it was held at Sentosa,Camp Challenge.we were grouped according to our CCAs.us malay dancers, LANANG WARRIORS,soul percussion, SAMBA PETIR,guitar club, ROCK STAR,hip hop dancers, FRESH ELEMENTS.it wasnt any usual camps i had went for.the games had was totally different.it was very fun.we had plentiful of activities before our water rafting challenge.we malay dancers really get to know about each other's weaknesses.we somehow get along very well.i liked the last activity alot.we had to really take good care of our hands so as to avoid penalty.it was funny getting point things not using our hands.hehe!! then we had our rafting.gosh it was tiring and fun too.actually i really am not good in building one,but i only like to do the pedalling.hehe.!! we actually had our designs in our mind,but with the instructor's opinions it kinds of distract us from it.in the end,after failing to come up with anymore ideas we decided to stick with ours.hehe!!thanks to some guys for helping us.we only had khai and fauzi in our group.hehe.we had to bring our members to the other island back and forth and only 5 people are allowed on the raft.the guys were our "drivers".they had to take us gerls there for 6 times.hee.pity them,but in the end we were the ferst group to finish the whole race.hehe!!the day ended well with a video of our embarrasing moments during th whole day.it was funny looking at our behaviours.haha!! lastly am enjoying the camp to best.the instructors told us that we were the best team to be with them for the year 2009.aww,sweet aite!!thanks to them for making the day an exciting one too. tomorrow will be having our Lanang Ayunda gathering at Sentosa. kamal,dont give up on whatever you do aite.its just no harm to keep on trying.
Sunday, December 13, 2009 @ 18:07
what should i do to my hair. 1)  2)   i have always been wanting to have red lips.
@ 18:04
  
@ 00:14
  
this is the vintage queen that i was searching for the name all along.
AUDREY HEPBURN,an elegant lady.
Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 01:16
im in love with victoria beckham.
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 21:41
i just wanna crazy-crazy kind of guy that just makes me happy always,and makes me feel crazy and puts laughter and happiness to my life always.someone whom i wont get bored of after many years of knowing you.
@ 20:12
   i have just been wondering lately about myself.day by day i keep wondering.why cant i be as pretty as other gerls.why cant i just dress up like other gerls.why cant i feel like the other gerls having the perfect guy to themselves and feeling proud to say he's mine.why aren't i feeling that way.why cant i be like the other gerls out there who is being liked by others alot,and when you are not there,you will be the first to be asked about your whereabouts.why didnt i feel appreciated and happy with whatever i have in life right now.why do i keep asking for many things and not even feeling thankful for what i have.why cant i have any of my own expertise.why cant i have the guy of my own.is it cos of my expectations zie?why am i feeling stressed up every single day.im just being stupid cos of guys really,i get stress cos of them,sad cos of them,angry cos of them just everything cos of them.i just wanna be the gerl who cant have the things that i want,like example i really wanna skate but why cant till now i have one.i want money to buy stuff,why cant i just find work for money.cant i just go out after sch.must i just get stuck at home doing only housework till im old.why must i face all this?why cant i just have my needs. boy,upon hearing the news about you my mind just reminded me of you.i was there staring blankly smiling at myself remembering those memories.im just being evil by doing all those stuff to you.i know u are officially taken.but why am i feeling this way.i dont wanna think about love no more.i dont wanna know anything about love.its making me stressed up.as for you lee,i guess im really evil.i dont even know what i was doing all along to you.but i feel that i dont wanna depend on you alot.maybe we should stop seeing each other alot of times.maybe we should just treat each other as frens.i really dont wanna think about it.im stressed!i know im hurting you again,i guess it will never ends about us hurting each other.really im tired of love. maybe im just giving up.i dont even feel thankful of you lee,ALLAH! im evil. forgive me please.no one can really understand me really.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009 @ 20:31
life live it to the fullest!
Monday, December 7, 2009 @ 21:17
had movie marathoning with lee at cathay downtown.watched these movies.thanks lee for the day and making me not to feel much stress.  at last i got to watch this movie.i love it.it was damn f-romantic.i love the last sentence before it all ended."can you promise me one thing and forever,MARRY ME".what a sweet way to ask since his the quiet kind of guy.i hope there's a continuation somehow.hehe!!they are just a sweet and cute couple.  afterwhich,watched 2012,lee's have been aiming for it.it was not a bad movie afterall,despite the ending which i cant understand of actually.i was feeling damn scared about judgement day really.felt like crying watching on how mankind get separated from their loved ones.i know the actual day we cant even realise our loved ones. tomorrow am accompanying lee to go sim lim to buy his stuff..next movie,shutter island.
Sunday, December 6, 2009 @ 18:24
i dont why my fingers just suddenly wants to search for wedding gowns. credits to labelle boutique
@ 17:43
 next upcoming week is the last week of school.gosh im gonna miss school alots.and speaking about hols,im left with 2 more weeks before my trip to KL.gosh,im still am not sure yet what to wear.and currently as usual im still struggling with my weight which is making me feel uncomfortable with my body alots. the previous days was spend for the christmas dreams concert.although we did the dance for like 3 times straight,i was feeling bored.but upon knowing about the kids as our audience and the venue for the performance,it somehow erases those feelings.we girls were quite lazy with the make up since the venue was dark.i was expecting everything to went well and at first was having lots of fun dancing,but in the end things get cock up and spoilt everything.didnt even feel happy dancing.wth!hate this feelings lots.after the whole event,proceed to meet my family members.ended the night with a tummy full of mac's food.gosh.for the last week,am hoping to have a well week ahead,despite the studies.im in need of money and work somehow.i need to buy lots of things for myself.im impatiently waiting for ITE life to end and graduate with good grades which qualifies me for the business course i want,its either from SP or TP.im still thinking of pursuing my dance passion during polys. 
relationships have made me learned lots of mistakes i have stupidly make in life.but thinking bout it,i dont want to have another one till the guy i met in the future is my fate.i dont wanna go through another relationship which doesnt or cant even promise happiness,probably it would just be sickening.but i too wanna feel the feeling of love and being needed in life.i wanna be with a person im comfortable with understands me and someone who wont get me bored of after knowing them for like few years down the road.some guys wont or even cant respect girls right,but i want mine to be one who respects girls privacy and the sensitiveness a girl have toward pleasure.for once,a woman is never for pleasure always for men.i hate it seeing guys who just easily touches the girls butts and making fun of it.it disturbs the girls mind alot and make others seem as thought the girl is cheap.btw,this are just my opinion.may be i should just ignore if im irritated with the way a person may treats me so as to let them know that im sick of it.it would be better letting them know the truth on how we felt about their behaviour rather than insincerely talking to them back to prevent them from sulking.i just think the truth is the best.in overall,im just trying to live my life to the fullest.
Thursday, December 3, 2009 @ 08:25
 yesterday had the audit CA.actually at ferst i was not quite prepared.but upon seeing the paper,i was smiling and doing the paper easily.alhamdulilah.overall im confident of getting an A but insyaallah.okay,afterwhich decided to pamper myself after those CA so ate western food at C2 with atik and rai.continued school as usual.after sch,met up with atik,rai and lee and went to take our money.Very happy lar kan,as planned atik wants us to sit somewhere and chill so yup.at ferst we were undecisive on where to go.but i think starbucks is still the best.it was the ferst time lee went to starbucks,so yup.helped him with the menu,explaining what i know of.we ordered 4 drinks,1 drink each, oreo cheesecake,cinnamon roll,cheese bagel which im in love so much,and atik's breakfast waffle.i tried the new dark cherry mocha,was kind of forcing myself to finish it.hehe!we sat talking about our probs,expressing each and everyone's doubt.it was fun.and suddenly zie wanted to tag along,we make a joke about us being at Paris. his airplane which was made of starbucks tissue,went to some turbulence but he reached Paris with only a small bag as his luggage was missing.anyway,if you guys dont understand,actually there's a joke behind it.hehe.we ended the day with much laughter and it was an awesome day.! we shall have it again,to strengthen our friendship together aite. next hangout time,ice skating at jurong or kallang aite bestfriends! btw,im still trying to get to my old weight of 41kg.im currently am now 43kg.my ideal weight is 40kg.so yup. 
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 @ 21:52
okay firstly,i passed my BTT!! oh yeah!!. BUT,i have audit CA tomorrow which im not quite prepared with! gosh,im struggling and panicking!! LASTLY,im getting FAT!!! please help me.
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