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September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010

i just cant keep my feelings and thoughts any longer.
its just difficult and stressful when u don have a family whom loves u and supports u,when they are right.
how 'NICE' of them, not allowing me to go for my GUIDES bbq pit tiz fri,cos my mum is on leave on tat day and she planned to bring us siblings to go shopping 2gether before the CHRISTMAS SALE ends.she can never understand me as her child of wat i reali wanted.i miss all my sec frens especially my GUIDES frens.u don even let me go out wif them,now u are saying i cant even go for the pit.wth.jus wat do u wan frm me,not wanting me to have a life of my own?!wanting me to live in a life wif no frens.
now u don allow me to go for the pit,u even don allow me to go for the 29 Dec event.wth!!i wont be able to make it,as us family is going on a hols on 27-29dec.and the ferry we taking home is at 1.how pissed of i am now!!

u never understand me as ur child.u keep talking bout other ppl's children.comparing them to us, never happy wif wat ur children have done for you,not allowing a BIT of freedom to ur children.

all i ever wanted from u, during the AUTS was ur support.but to u,giving support is jus by coming and watching.never give praises,but u were jus saying how flat chested i am n having a flat bum.tats the only u see from ur child dancing.u came, sit,watch,go home and compare me wif other cousins who can dance better.donch u have feelings.other parents cry seeing their children performing,but u were jus there laughing at me.u noe wat, since then, i never wanted to let u see me perform anymore.never ever!!

u jus love to talk bad things bout other teens but donch u ever realise tat everything tat is coming out from ur mouth is prayers.w/o u realising it or not, i am bcoming wild.u were never open to us.not wanting to allow ur children to treat u as their frens, so tat they can share their stories and probs wif u.other than sharing their probs with their frens, and mayb getting the wrong advice form them.u never even allow me to go out wif my gelfrens,never ever unless its impt, like pits or schwork.for being tat way, u forced me to lie to u.u FORCED me to.
tats why u keep seeing me doing bad stuff.upon seeing,the only thing u said was,u wld never trust me anymore.at the ferst place,did u even trust me at first.if u were to trust me, u wld allow me to go out wif my gerlfrens.u only know how to say, but don noe the action.i jus had enuf.

lately, im having passion for tarian.i want to be in a private tarian group, being involve in big events like SRI WARNA.i once did said to my sis,i want to be like those dancers dancing during shows.she said i require big commitment.i donch care how big the commitment i must give, its as long as i have the passion for it.i don mind getting very tired but wld i have the support from my family.no ever!!u wld sae involving in it is jus a waste of time.

i jus don understand why u must prefer other siblings better than me.
jus bcos u keep seeing the bad part of me.
donch u even realise tat im alone in the family.
i don trust my family, i trust my frens more.
they are always there for me, but not u.
u don even realise my true behaviour.

how i wish i was born overseas having the family tat i wanted, an open family.