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Monday, January 12, 2009 @ 21:09
Im feeling damn stressed up 2day.2day had juniors for tarian in.seeing just more n more of pretty gerls n skinny one,keeps making me feel demoralised.not in a gd md seriously.Just 'what' am i.im just an ordinary gerl,born without beauty,having an ideal body,without knowledge in life.im jus a gerl next door who wants to be beautiful,feel wanted in life,feel appreciated by others.im jus a gerl full of dreams bout herself.she wants to be like other gerls,pretty having the looks tat every gerl wants.she wants to be needed in life,such as among frens and family.she wants to feel appreciated,jus like what she have been wanting for all tiz while.she wants to be a gerl tat is always ard wif her friends,sharing good stuff 2gether,sharing all those probs to each other.she wants to be the one a friend wld search for whenever he/she is down n have things to share.she jus love to envy ppl and praise ppl of their beauty,which ppl don even realise.she tried her best to be useful in life,trying to have lots of friends by seeking attention.tat's all tat she knows.all i ever wanted in life: is to feel welcome and appreciated in life,always wanting to be pretty and skinny.but oppositely.there was never once when i feel appreciated in life.never ever!i never meant anything to my families and friends.i never make my families proud of having me as their daughter.all i did was to make them feel ashamed of me,when they caught me wif guys.all i have in life is scoldings and day by day,i feel demoralised!!families,i rec'd scoldings.being ard my family,demoralises me.friends,they nvr talked to me tat close.im always doing my own work,cos i dont feel wanted/needed in their life.im irritating,tats why maybe.i never feel welcomed.having frens that are well known among their friends,having all the attention,demoralise me.tarian,i do really wanna dance.but im just very stupid,of not being able to dance well.always wanted to have the best for me but there's as if sumting tat prevents me from being tat way.today,i was feeling damn stupid.i can't possibly be teaching the juniors when i cant even dance properly.i jus love to kepit my hands when dancing.tats the comment i always get from kak iffa.what kak bani said to us seniors jus make me terase,alot!it just makes me stressed up..eyes went teary when i hrd tat.sorry hubby for not looking at u n talking to u when u send me home.tanx for sending me.sorry hubby for not giving u a hug.u knew how stressed up i was just now.i realise tat u wanted to cheer me up,but every word tat come out from ur mouth,the only ting i did was to scold u back.jus how a bad gf i can be.really,if u feel tat im making u stupid by having me as ur gerl n if it always didn't seem to u how much i treasure u in life,u can always leave me.i don nd sum1, if by having tat sum1 makes me to hurt them more...i jus suck in life.i have not yet studied for my MPS test 2mrw.jus getting stupidier every single day.
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