Wednesday, May 6, 2009 @ 17:27
life has been MISERABLE and SICKENING for me.i just hate my life now.hate it so much.everyone seems to be going away from me,far away.having my single life again.ppl may think that i have been doing fine lately.but i cant lie no more.im SUFFERING.
Im suffering too much.i jus cant take it no more.no one understands me.the only person who understands my life,me n my situation is now gone.leaving me alone to settle all this prob by myself.no one did ask for my well-being.everyone is just gone suddenly.i have no one to turn to.im keeping all those sufferings and feelings to myself.im not strong.im never strong.now im all alone.just myself.going thru these obstacles of life.ppl keep asking me to be strong but i cant.ppl keep asking me to move on.but i cant lie no more.i cant move on.i just feel like killing myself.i just cant take it!!!i cant go on like this.i cant lie to him no more that i can move on.im suffering too much inside.im getting weak physically and mentally.i just feel like not going to sch.i just find no purpose of me living anymore.i jus want to be dead.im giving up in life.EVERYTHING about life.im giving up on myself.i know im ugly,having stupid behaviours and all.i give up.
im giving up in love and relationships.i hate relationships.relationships never promise me happiness.it just bring more tears.i hate break ups.i hate love.love is so sickening.i thought love wld bring happiness to my life but i was wrong.it was all a lie.i would never want to get want to get married.cos im afraid to shed anymore tears in the end.im afraid cos i know im not strong.
bby,sorry if i call u this.it was all due to this STUPIDITY of mine and my STUBBORNNESS that we broke up.if i ever did listen to you,this wont happen.we both knew that we are trying to make a difference in our relationship.we were just beginning to less spend time together,concentrate on our studies cos for our future together and its our last year.you are beginning to change me into a better person.we were just about to get started,but it ended just like that.how i wish i was not stupid and stubborn.how i wish i can rewind back the time.but i know we cant.its gd to hear that u and ur parents are okay now.im happy to hear that.but just now,i was angry cos i was feeling stress up.im sorry.i hope u will forgive me.bby,im willing to wait for you but i cant.im not strong.im not strong for us to be friends.im not.i need ur love.i need u honey.bby,im not strong.i just want us to be together again.i cant take it.im suffering bby.i know u need time.im trying but im not strong.bby,i want u to know,i cant treat you as my fren.i just love you so much.pls don ignore me for loving u and not giving you time.i need ppl's help.i need you back.i cant move on.
i cant lie to myself no more.im breaking down day by day.
aku bersyukur satu doa daku telah terkabul,iaitu agar kamu dan keluarga mu akan kembali bahagia semula.Ya Allah berilah aku kekuatan untuk menempuhi ini semua .aku umat yang lemah.im just getting crazy.
Labels: i love you nor fadzlee
