Wednesday, June 24, 2009 @ 23:11
today was never an awesome day for me.it starts bad,with a chaos and noisy home environment suddenly and waking up with an aching body all over.feeling stress at home,did some house chores and the rest of the time,stuck at my room doing my crossword.feeling damn bored.for once suddenly,i felt like praying,which i really did.suddenly i realised how much a difference it would make if i never pray for a long period of time.at least i should somehow pray once a day,better than not praying at all for the whole day.right..then,before going to sch whereby i am actually 'late',had to send my young cousins back to their home after ngaji session at my house.before that,i was stress on what to wear.i wanted to wear something simple since im only going to sch.but i ended up grabbing my biker jacket and wearing converse shoe.and i suddenly i look like as if im going to town or something.text boy saying how angry i was at myself for dressing up so nice and telling him how i suddenly felt that i wasnt in the mood for dance suddenly.yeah,but boy was like saying sorry for me not coming along.yeah,i kind of wanted to follow at ferst but i thought that i need the money to top up somehow so that i could talk to him overnight otp.so yeah,was able to calm down bout that.proceed to sch,i just hate it when people gives me that kind of look whenever i walk pass them.reached sch,how sickening can i feel when i get to know that the training was cancelled.
text boy and was expecting boy to calm me down or something but i guess he's off to meet his frens already.no one told me,or maybe i didnt heard about the cancellation of training the day before cos im kind of deaf somehow.but how come everyone was there together if the training was cancelled.how come i was untold about them meeting up together in sch and all.oh yeah,maybe i wasnt involve.so be it.spend the time there,feeling hunger and restless.wanted to dance but not in the mood.only dance a few with darren and all.then did i feel much better.having a good time alone dancing.when suddenly i felt that everyone was missing and talking together without me there.so yeap,find them again.sat with them,being a kepo gerl.laugh along with them about the jokes.suddenly they had to go somewhere to settle some personal stuff.i was kind of shock why somehow the rest knew bout that but i know nothing,not even a bit of it.i thought i would be the ferst you would talk to,whenever you have your probs.you were the ferst one to know about my probs,did you realise about it.i felt comfortable talking to you.i thought that we could somehow be best friends but i guess i was wrong.u didnt want the similar way too.i was hurt deeply.was holding on to my tears when all those stuff happens right in front of my face.nvm,i guess i have to keep on finding my true bestfren.
i just hate today.i soo need a day to reflect on myself for my wrongdoings in life till people likes to treat me in that way.
