i have just been wondering lately about myself.day by day i keep wondering.why cant i be as pretty as other gerls.why cant i just dress up like other gerls.why cant i feel like the other gerls having the perfect guy to themselves and feeling proud to say he's mine.why aren't i feeling that way.why cant i be like the other gerls out there who is being liked by others alot,and when you are not there,you will be the first to be asked about your whereabouts.why didnt i feel appreciated and happy with whatever i have in life right now.why do i keep asking for many things and not even feeling thankful for what i have.why cant i have any of my own expertise.why cant i have the guy of my own.is it cos of my expectations zie?why am i feeling stressed up every single day.im just being stupid cos of guys really,i get stress cos of them,sad cos of them,angry cos of them just everything cos of them.i just wanna be the gerl who cant have the things that i want,like example i really wanna skate but why cant till now i have one.i want money to buy stuff,why cant i just find work for money.cant i just go out after sch.must i just get stuck at home doing only housework till im old.why must i face all this?why cant i just have my needs.

boy,upon hearing the news about you my mind just reminded me of you.i was there staring blankly smiling at myself remembering those memories.im just being evil by doing all those stuff to you.i know u are officially taken.but why am i feeling this way.i dont wanna think about love no more.i dont wanna know anything about love.its making me stressed up.as for you lee,i guess im really evil.i dont even know what i was doing all along to you.but i feel that i dont wanna depend on you alot.maybe we should stop seeing each other alot of times.maybe we should just treat each other as frens.i really dont wanna think about it.im stressed!i know im hurting you again,i guess it will never ends about us hurting each other.really im tired of love.

maybe im just giving up.i dont even feel thankful of you lee,ALLAH! im evil. forgive me please.no one can really understand me really.